Growing up stories

I am really disappointed with people and family members too.

People
I am still at a lost of what is in the minds of people who only care about themselves and push others to be scapegoat. So what if they win the world and lost their soul. Well upset over them? No maybe for awhile but I believe God will be my shield against the enemy fiery darts. God says if we are at peace with Him, He will prepare a table before our enemies and they will be at peace with us. So I will just hold my peace and walk through the darkest tunnel.

Family Members

Allow me to complain in this blog. Throughout my growing up days, with my younger brother and sister, our family had always not being close. My mother died when I was in K1. My father remarried and borne my younger sister. I have not much memory of my natural mother. On 2 Occasions I remember her:

a) When we were in hospital where my mum was dying of throat cancer. I didn't cry because I knew nothing then.
b) When my mum shielded me from my dad's fiery (just because I was crying?).

My mother says my dad have never carry any 1 of us since we are babies, when she saw my dad carries my daughter Valencia. Well, my dad is an introvert. He is responsible for providing for the family and no else. Well he did a great job, paying the hdb loan and providing for us single-handedly. He's not on good term with most people including my uncle. He is hot tempered too. I remember vividly he switch off the balcony light when my uncle and his friends was at our village house. My growing up memory of him:

a) In primary 4-5, I overheard my dad wants to buy me a bicycle as an encouragement for my good results but my mum rejected the idea. I was totally disappointed.

b) When we move to Jurong West then, deep down in my heart I hope my dad signs me up for the teckwondo class in the neighborhood. I was interested when I see other kids having fun when my dad brings us there occasionally. No, that didnt happen either.

c) When I was in Sec 2-3, I was scolded by my dad for messing up his table which I didnt. (My sister is the one). I was so upset that I ran out of house. Ah mah came and comforedt me and walked me back. Although, my dad knew later he had done me wrong, till TODAY he hasn't apologise to me. That still hurts. He still have alot of pride, I remember he wants to cancel my name in the CPF nomination only to put back. Till today, I also don't know he got nominated me to get anything. Well hack, $$ is not everything.

My dad is also very critical of others. He can criticise other but not others can't.

Ah ma is one that adore us most since my dad is just a pure $ provider only. I love her very much. She had sacrificed a lot for my brother and I. The only problem is that she always bring up my gugu's daughter to haolian. My Siblings and I are sick of all these.

My mother was generally quite good, she has to be commented with putting up with my dad for so many years.

In fact my whole family do not give encouragement when we do something good. They will just find shortcomings and talk and talk about it. Why can't they just say something good? Children do need them to grow up healthily.

Give them a half glass of water, they will probably says why is it only half full ?

There's simply no love or and relationship going on. Maybe tat's why my sister is always not at home. It only prove 1 thing, $ is not everything. My dad would always paid for her tours and doted on her the most but these actions probably went down the drain. My brother and I would not have such luck. for instance,

a) We have to fork up 2k each just to buy a computer during secondary school.
b) We have to pay for our own tertiary education by repaying the CPF board. We don't mind paying but give cpf interest? Not a good deal.